Faith's hand stills on his arm, moving to lay it flat on his chest. Maybe he's doing an admirable job of seeming calm, the way he's talking makes her suddenly awake, the fog of morning leaving her entirely.
Propping herself up on an elbow, Faith can hide the concern in her eyes. She's not sure how much she should press him. There are things she's not told him about her past, painful memories. He knows some of it, but there are still things she's keeping close to her chest. Not necessarily because she wants to keep them secret from him, but because speaking about them hurts. She's already poured so much of herself out onto the floor in front of him.
"I didn't realize you were from so long ago." She says, quiet. War is hard. She might not be a soldier for the government, but she knew battle. Loss. Bloodshed. She's a soldier of a different sort.
He pauses in his fidgeting with the dogtags hanging from his neck and lets go, moving his hand to the one of hers pressed against his chest, resting his on top of hers. Just a small, simple reminder of her realness right now, in this moment.
The curl of his lips is slow and careful, sadder than a real smile ought to look, never traveling high enough to reach his eyes, and he shakes his head at her wrong, but reasonable, assumption. "I'm not... It was 2019 when I left... it's-- complicated, but time travel happened? I was there for ten months. Right on the front lines." His voice is softer talking about this than it ever is any other time he speaks; like if he speaks about it quietly, it might hurt less to do so in the first place.
"Shit." Faith didn't expect to be having such a heavy conversation on a lazy morning in Klaus' bed, but that seems to be what's happening. He'd been there for her when she needed it though, so she's not about to bail now.
She leans up to kiss him, considering, "That must have been hard. Do you... want to tell me more about it?" If he didn't want to, that was fine too, she's not going to force the issue.
Klaus didn't expect it either, but... conversations have a way of doing that around him. Almost like he can't help himself. Everything's either a joke or something dark, and it's so rare there is much of an in-between. He hates Faith has to deal with it at all; she deserves something better than the twisted, mangled mess of him.
He doesn't hesitate in responding to that kiss, though, soft and gentle in ways they were not at all with each other the previous night. "I dunno... there's not a lot to tell-- I mean... it was a war. People died. Some of them because of me. And it was awful, being me, seeing the dead, smack in the middle of a warzone." Sometimes he's not sure how he got through it. But those dogtags on his neck are the how, aren't they? Or at least, they used to belong to him, anyway.
"I met this guy while I was there and... completely fell in love with him. I... I didn't think I could, really... love someone? Not like we were taught how as kids..." He's touched briefly here and there with Faith about how distant and cold his father was, so that's probably not much of a surprise. "Dave was different... he was amazing..." The small, smile resting on his face turns so sad suddenly, and when he blinks, a few tears roll down his cheeks. "and then he was dead."
It's a name he hasn't spoken once since he got here. Hasn't had much of a reason to. No one paid any attention before. To the tags. To the tattoos. There had never been a reason to explain. And it was easier to keep the feelings about Dave and the war locked away and hidden, somewhere that he hoped he'd never find again; or at the very least, somewhere no one else could find them.
But Faith was different, too. He isn't sure he'd say he loves her. Not the same way he did Dave. But... it's something important, the thing he shares with her. And he just hopes Hell doesn't take it, take her, away, either.
Faith listens to him talk, not interrupting just reaching her hands out to touch him, a comforting anchor to keep him grounded while he keeps talking. Faith's never really known love. Not really. There's the sort of love you have as a naive young teenager that perhaps she would have claimed was love at the time, but that hadn't been real. Just one more disappointment to add to a growing list.
Truthfully, Faith closed herself off from hoping for such things. Like Klaus had used to think and it's a mentality that Faith's still not left. Companionship is something she's more ready for, she thinks. It's not easy either, but its something she thinks she's the capacity for and the ability to accept. It's fear that keeps her from pursuing more. Fear of losing, as Klaus had lost. She's also aware that she's hardly the only person to share his bed, just as he's not the only one who shares hers. There's more to feelings than sex, of course. Still. Maybe she feels for him more strongly than anyone else in a long time and he's closer to her than anyone here-- but love? She's not sure. All she knows is that she hates to see him hurting and would fight Lucifer one on one to protect him.
She's lost her mother. Her watcher. Her childhood. Any semblance of her innocence. One more loss might be too much to bear.
"I'm sorry, Klaus..." Faith pulls him into a hug, not really having words enough to express how she felt and how much it pained her to see him in pain like this. The words she does choose feel stupid and hardly enough but it's all she's got.
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Date: 2020-09-20 02:49 pm (UTC)Propping herself up on an elbow, Faith can hide the concern in her eyes. She's not sure how much she should press him. There are things she's not told him about her past, painful memories. He knows some of it, but there are still things she's keeping close to her chest. Not necessarily because she wants to keep them secret from him, but because speaking about them hurts. She's already poured so much of herself out onto the floor in front of him.
"I didn't realize you were from so long ago." She says, quiet. War is hard. She might not be a soldier for the government, but she knew battle. Loss. Bloodshed. She's a soldier of a different sort.
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Date: 2020-09-20 10:41 pm (UTC)The curl of his lips is slow and careful, sadder than a real smile ought to look, never traveling high enough to reach his eyes, and he shakes his head at her wrong, but reasonable, assumption. "I'm not... It was 2019 when I left... it's-- complicated, but time travel happened? I was there for ten months. Right on the front lines." His voice is softer talking about this than it ever is any other time he speaks; like if he speaks about it quietly, it might hurt less to do so in the first place.
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Date: 2020-09-22 02:02 am (UTC)She leans up to kiss him, considering, "That must have been hard. Do you... want to tell me more about it?" If he didn't want to, that was fine too, she's not going to force the issue.
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Date: 2020-09-24 02:18 am (UTC)He doesn't hesitate in responding to that kiss, though, soft and gentle in ways they were not at all with each other the previous night. "I dunno... there's not a lot to tell-- I mean... it was a war. People died. Some of them because of me. And it was awful, being me, seeing the dead, smack in the middle of a warzone." Sometimes he's not sure how he got through it. But those dogtags on his neck are the how, aren't they? Or at least, they used to belong to him, anyway.
"I met this guy while I was there and... completely fell in love with him. I... I didn't think I could, really... love someone? Not like we were taught how as kids..." He's touched briefly here and there with Faith about how distant and cold his father was, so that's probably not much of a surprise. "Dave was different... he was amazing..." The small, smile resting on his face turns so sad suddenly, and when he blinks, a few tears roll down his cheeks. "and then he was dead."
It's a name he hasn't spoken once since he got here. Hasn't had much of a reason to. No one paid any attention before. To the tags. To the tattoos. There had never been a reason to explain. And it was easier to keep the feelings about Dave and the war locked away and hidden, somewhere that he hoped he'd never find again; or at the very least, somewhere no one else could find them.
But Faith was different, too.
He isn't sure he'd say he loves her. Not the same way he did Dave.
But... it's something important, the thing he shares with her. And he just hopes Hell doesn't take it, take her, away, either.
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Date: 2020-09-25 02:52 am (UTC)Truthfully, Faith closed herself off from hoping for such things. Like Klaus had used to think and it's a mentality that Faith's still not left. Companionship is something she's more ready for, she thinks. It's not easy either, but its something she thinks she's the capacity for and the ability to accept. It's fear that keeps her from pursuing more. Fear of losing, as Klaus had lost. She's also aware that she's hardly the only person to share his bed, just as he's not the only one who shares hers. There's more to feelings than sex, of course. Still. Maybe she feels for him more strongly than anyone else in a long time and he's closer to her than anyone here-- but love? She's not sure. All she knows is that she hates to see him hurting and would fight Lucifer one on one to protect him.
She's lost her mother. Her watcher. Her childhood. Any semblance of her innocence. One more loss might be too much to bear.
"I'm sorry, Klaus..." Faith pulls him into a hug, not really having words enough to express how she felt and how much it pained her to see him in pain like this. The words she does choose feel stupid and hardly enough but it's all she's got.